The Method of the "Small Inquisitor" Moore

 

The other day, I wrote the AIDS criminal mastermind, Prof. J.P. Moore (not to be confused, if that was possible, with Sherlock's alter-ego, the twisted mathematician, Prof. J. Moriarty), who is so accurately depicted in Dr. Stock's essay of last week, and from which the epithet in the title derives.

Dear Prof. J.P. Moore,

As the managing editor of You Bet Your Life (YBYL), I am in receipt of some of the emails that were written by you yesterday.

My concerns are purely practical, and seeing that you are a practical man, I have been wondering why you have not referenced YBYL on your site, AIDStruth.org? From previous correspondence, I understand you do not consider us a worthy representative of the 'Denialist conspiracy theorists', mainly because of the low aesthetic appeal of Dr. Bialy's writings. However, I read in your latest mails that you think Dr. Bialy is one of your greatest assets, and that you "use [YBYL] to demonstrate to people who do matter (e.g., journalists, to name but one category) just what AIDS denialism is all about and the kinds of people who have these views (....) All we have to do is steer journalists, neutrals, and vulnerable HIV-infected people to the YBYL site."

I am not sure what you mean by "steering vulnerable HIV-infected people" in certain directions, sounds a bit sinister to me to tell the truth,  Be that as it may, instead of doing private guided tours of YBYL for journalists and vulnerable HIV+, my suggestion is you simply link us on your own popular site, which would free up some time you could use profitably to invent the next generation in your successful line of microbicides [1].

Speaking of profit, I am of course not oblivious to the old 'commision for converts' business system on which AIDS Inc. operates. If your reason for making the YBYL introductions personally is financial (even a scientist as successful and proliferate as yourself, I am sure, must occasionally pause to consider the economic aspects of retirement), YBYL will be quite happy to send you a weekly list of referrals from AIDStruth.org.

To our mutual health and wealth. Yours sincerely - Otis

Dear Otis,

YBYL is pure trash, appealing only to the lowest dregs of the denialist fringe and other disturbed individuals. Its content is poorly written, substantially fictitious, and lacks meaningful information. Steering AIDS professionals towards YBYL would not provide them with anything useful that they need to know about. On the other hand, we find YBYL a VERY useful resource towards which we can steer SPECIFIC individuals, be they journalists or others, to expose them to what AIDS denialists such as you and Bialy do - insult people without providing anything substantive. That, of course, degrades and debases the entire AIDS denialist movement by association, which is why we find your site to be such an asset. And it is why the mainstream AIDS denialists loathe and despise you and Bialy so much - they have the political sophistication to work it all out, something that you and Bialy clearly lack.

Now, of course, we have so much safely archived away that it doesn't matter what YBYL posts. The damage, to your movement, has already long been done. Long may you exist! - John Moore

Dear Prof. Moore,

I hope you understand that as an editor of YBYL I take exception to your characterization of our contributors and their contributions as "fictitious trash". I know much of the information conveyed by some of our top contributors, like Anthony Fauci [2, 3], Robert Gallo, [4, 5 ] and the CDC [6] may sound incredible to somebody not well acquainted with HIV science; Dr. Bialy and I often have to pinch ourselves to make sure it is real, even after thorough fact checking. Of course we are only fallible human beings and for my own part I confess there is always that lingering suspicion that I am being cleverly mislead.

Recognizing that you are an expert on mediating HIV to the world's public, I and YBYL's readers would be grateful if you could tell us who are the worst culprits and where do they cross the line from objective science to fictitious trash?   

Thank you for your valuable input. Yours sincerely - Otis

[Alas, we did not receive a publishable reply. The wonderful cartoon is by the legendary Carl Barks.]

Comments

[RT Magritte]

Ceci n'est pas une pipe, también.

et

Ceci n'est pas moi.

[Elizabeth Ely]

So I guess Moore doesn't want to refer the common folk to our site, because they're too dumb to sort out "trash" from "truthiness" [1]? He only refers smart people -- like AIDS journalists and Jenna Bush [2]-- who see right through the likes of us!

That's the problem with the dang Internet, eh, Dr. Moore? -- anyone can access it from any trailer park in America and get all confused and stuff and start asking you uncomfortable questions about this researchin' you're doin' on them. What the heck, they can even access this "trash" in Africa, and, gol' darn it, they can read and even worse, think for themselves, and it's just gotta stop.

That's why there's no link to YBYL on the sophisticated "truthiness" site.